now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
