we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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