i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
