how can u be prego again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize