jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize