I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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