If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
