I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
