i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
