Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
