if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
