what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
