I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
