no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
