Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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