i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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