If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
