Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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