i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Operation Purity has been aborted
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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