I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
