Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
