Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
