clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
