I'm really into asian looking animals
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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