He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
