I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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