Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He has the fingertips of a God
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
