Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
