Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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