Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
