Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
