Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
