if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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