so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
