Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Say something about gay babies.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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