If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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