highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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