yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
