Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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