And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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