I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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