we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
