His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
