I'm so fucking centered right now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
