went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
