But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize