I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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