She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
