handjob tips. give me some.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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