the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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