I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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