Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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