Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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