official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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