Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
