And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
