my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
