Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize