Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
