I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
