I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I enjoy the company of your penis
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