I faked an abortion last night.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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