After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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