About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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