i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
