A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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