Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize