hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
