i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
