So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
