All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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