i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
