I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
