they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
