im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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