My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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