So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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