If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
