That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Green mimosas i think yes
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
