Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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