sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
