yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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