i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
