Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
