i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
