There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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