Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Edward fifth and chaser hands
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
